Well, it has been more than a year since I started to have suspicions on my “faithful wife in the Lord” secret involvement in drug addiction and prostitution…I spent more than a year expressing my memories and suspicions to her, having one by one talks, involving church leaders both in Almaty and in Bishkek with the only goal – to find the truth and obtain repentance from her….. My suspicions are being confirmed now and at this time I have 4 witnesses (one of them is a local drug dealer) who recognized her on a dozen of photos and confirmed to me her involvement into prostitution and being a drug addict for years, all of them are ready to witness in the court……
When I was visiting kids from the moment of our last conflict in late March 2010, when she kicked me out from my house I noticed some strange things but I wasn’t paying much attention to them, all I wanted was to see and spend time with the kids.. At my first visit I went to the bathroom and I noticed her dirty panties, I used to see it before when I was doing laundry and was loading washing machine, but this time it caught my eyes because they were so dirty as never before…it was freshly polluted with feces among with abundant amount of some jelly type whitish substance and whole thing smelled like sperm.. It is now obvious to me that at that time she just had an anal sex just before I came…Then I asked my wife – are you sleeping with other man in my absence? – Fear and surprise were on her face.. she replied – why do think so? – I said – go, have a look at your panties polluted with sperm in the bathroom… she rushed to the bathroom, grabbed her panties and mumbled – oh no, no, this is not a sperm, it is a lubricant… and after saying this she stopped short… I asked – what lubricant? Why would you have lubricant in your panties? …she started hysterically yell at me – why you are checking my dirty laundry! Go away and leave me alone!
Just before the last bloody Revolution of April 7, in my shoemaking workshop I had my nephew Oskar with me all the time, who was helping me and I was teaching him shoe repairing. One day (April 4,5) we had one client, a tall and good looking guy, who brought his shoes for a minor repair, he started to chat with us, and introduced himself as H (the real names will not be shown until the investigation is completed) . It appeared that he lives on the same street (Kommunarov), and he told us that nearby his house there is a secret bordello and there works one strange whore, with nickname Olya, she is well educated and intelligent, she is married but had just recently kicked out her husband and she avoids vaginal sex in order to remain faithfulness to him and prefers only oral and anal sex…. Me and my nephew laughed at this story…what a twisted minded person!.... and then suddenly H asked me, what would I do if my wife would behave in a such way?... I replied that I would not do anything, because I will not be able to change that person, I would divorce her for sure… and of course being angry I could have had killed her for that but that will be very stupid since then I would have to spent the rest of my life in jail and I see no reason to destroy my life by committing vendetta for her amoral behavior… He then agreed with me, and after a while he left…
Then we had April 7, 2010 Revolution… on that day I closed my workshop and was puzzled where to go … to my old father or to the kids….chaos was on the streets , there was no transportation… it is has been already 3 days since my father could not walk well and was laying on the coach…. After a while I decided to go to my helpless father, since the kids have my wife and her mother with them to be taken care of but the father have nobody around to help him….
I came to the kids on April 9, just before my birthday, the kids were so happy to see me, and we sat together in a separate room and played…Kids told me that they went to some lady named Roza, but the mother and grandmother told them not to tell me this…On the sideboard there was a list taped to it with male names and one name was female-Roza. My wife enters the room and I ask her – what’s lady named Roza they went to? – well..she said.. she is a neighbor…And what is that list with male names for? – well, those are neighbors too, I put it for kids so that they will learn who are our neighbors, she replied…
I cannot restore the full chronology of my visits but what I do remember is following:
One time, her mobile phone rings in the kitchen, she picks it up..and replies – yes, I’m working…then she sees me and walks out of house into the yard from where I cannot hear anymore her conversation…then she returns home and asks me – how long do you plan to be here with the kids… - I reply – well, until we put them in bed, but why? – she says – well, I need to go to the neighbor… she gets dressed and leaves…I follow her and at the gate I see as she walks up the street.. I shout her by name, she turns around and replies – Go home! – I ask her – are you gonna be back soon? – Yes, yes she says and keeps walking up the street … Suddenly, being angry I decide to follow her to see to which neighbor she goes, I quickly tell Daniel (son) to look after the girls and lock the gate so that the kids will not go out on the street…Then I followed my wife thinking to myself that she most likely goes to see her lover, I prepared myself to see and confront with a man who would open gates for her…. I saw as she stopped at one house(48a) and the older lady opened the gates for her… being reassured that she indeed went to a neighbor and not to a lover since the gates were opened by a lady, I returned back home to the kids… It took long time for her to come back, nearly 2 hours…it was already dark outside… she came back and rushed to the bathroom…she took the bathroom unusually long for nearly an hour, and then she walked out and I saw a huge bruise on her right hip …I asked her – What this? What happened? and I tried to touch her ... she turned around and said – ah, this…I bounced at the table in the kitchen while was cooking… That was very strange, we lived 11 years in this house and the distance between the stove and the kitchen table was only about 60 cm and nobody ever bounced so hard to have such a huge bruise…..anyway, after a while I put kids in bed, and prepared to leave to go to my father…. While I was leaving she suddenly asked me if I needed any money and pulled out few 1000 som banknotes out of her jeans pocket…that surprised me because just before my visit she was telling me on the phone that she ran out of money and needs to buy food for kids.. I refused from her money and left….
On another day I came to kids after lunch time, my wife was not at home, there were kids and her mother… I asked her mother- where is my wife?.. her mother replied that she went to a neighbor and will be back shortly….I played with the kids in the yard near the gate, the gates were closed, and then she came suddenly and rung the bell instead of opening it with her keys… I rushed to unlock and open the gate, but her mother went before me and walked out, I came to the gates and was standing behind and I heard a part of their conversation – Mom, they took my money….go and talk to them yourself…. And then she saw me and stopped short…I angrily asked her – who took money from you? What happened? – she walked in and said – Oh, it’s Ok, nothing happened… Her mom walked up the street… We went inside the house and I sat at the kitchen table, while my wife served me tea… Her mom came back shortly and told her - No, those bastards refused to return our money….she replied – whatever, mom, let it be so… I asked – what happened? – Oh, nothing, she replied…. Then her mother whispered to her something and I heard name – Olya.. I asked her – Who is this Olya? – Oh, well, she said, nobody really…
During another visit I heard as she was talking on the phone - …so there will be a silver thread in there? … I asked – what silver tread? - Oh ..nothing, she said, this is not your business and walked away.. ( in the surgery on anus sphincter due to consequences of anal sex resulting into anal prolapse a silver or synthetic wire is used to tighten sphincter and restore its former shape, such surgery is called Tiersche surgery – I have researched a lot of medical websites on anus surgeries and consequences of anal sex).
On the other day just before visiting kids, she called me and asked – are you going to visit kids tomorrow?.. I replied – yes, I am..but why? – well, she said, they will be at my sister’s place in Djal district, so you can find them there tomorrow…I replied – Ok, thank you and hanged up… The next day I came home at lunch time, I opened the gate with my own key, and I saw her with her relatives (only women) sat at the yard. They all had stressed look…They were so surprised to see me..First thing they asked was – Why you didn’t go to see kids in Djal district?
I went inside the house and there near the entrance I opened sideboard where I stored my tools and started to sort them out… while sorting tools I heard their conversation outside…- Well, if he would find out this, he will not live with her… I walked outside to smoke and asked them – Why I would not live with her? ….- Oh, no, no..they replied... we are not talking about you, this is about other people, not you guys….I went back home and continued to sort tools…then I heard as mobile phone rung in the kitchen and since I was the only one in the house I went to the kitchen to pick it up and hand out to them..in the kitchen I saw an old Sony Ericsson mobile phone laying on the windows sill and ringing, her cousin Lola(who works in police with lieutenant-colonel rank) walked into house and rushed to the kitchen to pick it up… I took the phone and passed it to her and while I was passing it I noticed on the screen..Roza is calling… After a while, my wife told me that she needs to go some place with her cousin and asked me to hand her diary with dark blue cover from the other room… I handed her diary and they left… After a while they returned back, she looked very happy, was laughing and engaged in conversation with her cousin.. After some time her cousin went out again and asked me to accompany her… I walked to the gate with her, and there at the gate stood my wife and her younger sister…Her cousin told her that we would go together and will be right back… My wife hysterically shouted at her : Please, don’t! Go yourself without him! …Her cousin thought for a while and told me..It’s OK, I will go myself…I returned back in the yard…After a while her cousin returned…They all are so happy, laughing and chatting with each other…My wife asked her aunt – Would you please have a look at my body to see how he did it in there? …they walked inside the house and asked me not to enter it…shortly after her younger sister walked out and told me that it’s ok now, I can enter house… I walked in and went to the farthest room where I had computer running…while I was entering, I heard a part of their conversation – her aunt said – well, they did a very good job, but don’t let him to have sex from behind..and then she stopped short after seeing me entering the room….I spent some time at computer and then walked out of the room into the corridor and there I saw thru the open door as my wife was sitting with her cousin in the kitchen and cheerfully chatted with her, her younger sister walked in and angrily shouted at her – So, you think that after seeing a doctor nothing happened at all? How would I now look into his eyes? - I walked out of corridor and asked her sister – what happened? – she replied –oh, well..nothing… just look at that bastard in the kitchen…and then she walked out…after sometime we all were having a meal and then shortly after her cousin was leaving… we accompanied her to the gate, and while we were walking my wife asked her – what do we do with the money? – her cousin replied – well, you better exchange them….
At the other time, I arrived home during the lunch time, I entered the house and followed thru the corridor…I saw as my wife rushed into one room and removed a piece of paper taped to the sideboard along with other papers …she walked out…I watched after her and saw as she put a piece of paper into the trash plastic bag hanged on the bathroom handle… I went to the bathroom and extracted paper from the trash and put it in my pocket.…then I went to the kids who were playing in the living room, I played with the youngest daughter and sat at the floor and shortly after I removed paper from the pocket…I saw a list of male names with one female name Roza…. I turned paper over and started to draw pictures for the youngest daughter…I played with the kids and left the paper on the floor….after sometime my wife entered the room and picked up paper with drawings from the floor, she turned it over and said surprisingly – Oh,..this is mine..how come? ….after sometime I walked thru the corridor and saw as she and her mother stood in the room with taped papers on the sideboard and her mother told her – why you taped them here, he can easily see it…my wife replied – so, what? He would not guess it…
At other visit, I spent time with the kids in the yard, my wife and her mother were absent…I entered the house…went to the room with taped papers and sat at the bed… I looked at the papers and saw the lists with male names….I was puzzled and thought to myself – something is wrong here…I pulled out my mobile phone (Samsung I700) from the pocket and took pictures of the lists, but due to the low resolution sensor the pictures turned out to be of low quality…then I went to the other room where at the shelf I took a small old camera Olympus350 and realized that it had no batteries ( it needed 2 batteries of AA type). I took a TV remote control and removed 2 AA type batteries from it and placed them into the camera…camera powered up and showed that there was no storage card and the internal memory of 16mb would be used for storage.. I returned to the room with lists of male names taped to the sideboard and took pictures of them…shortly after I went to the room with computer, I powered it up, connected mini USB cable to the camera and selected USB mode on the camera, computer found the camera and recognized it as a storage device. I opened it and browsed thru the photos….at that time my wife entered the room and saw me at computer as I was watching the photos…she saw the photos of her lists and started hysterically yell at me – Ravil! Why you took them! Erase! Delete them right now! It’s not your business!....her reaction made me mad and I replied – No way! I will keep these photos and later will find out what this is all about and who are these people!....then I put camera into my backpack and left the house…
In one of the days I was in the yard and she talked on the phone and then suddenly she told me that she needs to go right now to some place…I asked her – where do you need to go now? She told me – well, I need to go to gynecologist.. I asked her – Why?? We haven’t had sexual life for nearly 3 months, what can be wrong? – Well, she replied, I have acute pain in there because we haven’t had sex for long time..
On the May, 2, 2010, Sunday, my shoemaking workshop gets totally robbed, all my tools, equipment, client’s shoes and even nails got stolen….I came on Monday and was in severe shock..I knew who did it…just the day before on May 1, Saturday, the older man named Leonid (local Korean) came to me and was complaining that he has no place to stay until Monday and was pleading me to let him sleep in my workshop until Monday and since I didn’t work on Sundays I let him to stay… He used to come to me before since February once in a while, he was well dressed and was not looking as a homeless person…He always had money and was buying sweets and biscuits for me to have tea together. He told me that he used to be in jail and that he was a drug addict… On that Monday I was totally crushed in spirit, I was telling to myself – Oh, my God! why I am being so naïve and kind to people! How could he do it! I decided not to report to police and let the Lord handle it..I closed the workshop…placed a Sorry notice on the door and went to my father…Since then I decided to quit shoemaking and was looking for another job…
My wife was calling me everyday and telling that she wants to move to Almaty asap as her friend found a 1000 dollar job for her at the Ruah educational center and the other friend is giving her place to stay for free. She was asking if I would give her written and notarized permission to take the kids which is required while crossing Kazakh border…. I told her to wait till I will find money for hiring a van to Almaty for them…
I was visiting my friends and some relatives asking them if they can help and lend me some money so that I can move my family to Almaty…but no success….
In one of the days my friend Volodya (photographer) called and came to me , I told him about my situation, he cheered me up and said that I need some rest… He drove me on his car around the town, he did not have money to lend me, but was very supportive and was trying to help me with finding a job… After few days he came to me again and brought one older man, Dutch, whom he occasionally met at the photolab…The old man introduced himself as Nikki, saying that he is a Buddhist, and this is his Buddhist name…He said that he is travelling from China enroute Bishkek to Europe and has 2 days to spent in Bishkek….I told him my story of being robbed and plans to move family to Almaty…
Volodya drove us around the city, we visited some artists, went to the mountains, etc…On the last day of his stay in Bishkek, we spent whole day together and were in Volodya’s car, I was sitting on the front seat while Nikki was behind..Volodya drove me to my father’s place, I said goodbye to Nikki wishing him a good flight, he thanked me and said that he wants to go on the front seat, I left the car, so did Nikki, He shook my hand and while shaking hands, Nikki passed me a folded paper and kept my hand closed by saying – please take it, it’s for you, don’t open now …be blessed… and then he rushed in the car on the front seat and they left….I opened my palm and there was folded 200 Euro banknote… I burst in tears…
Immediately I called my wife and told her to pack things for tomorrow as I have money now and will accompany her and the kids to Almaty…
Just a week before this some police man called me (he told me that he got my number from a kiosk lady nearby my workshop) and asked to meet for a private talk …. He came on a private car to my father’s place and was dressed in civil clothing not an uniform....I walked out and he started to tell me that they heard about robbery of my workshop and have found all of my staff and that all I need to do now is to go to Oktoberski district police office and file my claim….I was surprised… I replied that why I should go to Oktoberski police office when the robbery took place in Leninski district…. I told him this is very strange that they were looking for my staff since I did not report it and did not file any claims…. I told him that this is really suspicious for me, since they had no ground for running their own search without my involvement and that knowing local policemen and regulations their initiative is very out of ordinary… I told him that it is very obvious for me that he has other interests to pursue and there must be someone behind all this….. He asked me – don’t you want all of your staff back ? - I said – no, thanks… I will not report anything nor file any claims…..and then I went back to my father…. He was very disappointed and tried to persuade me…. But I refused it and then he left….
On June, 27, 2010 I hired a minivan, loaded it with suitcases and bags and moved my wife and kids to Almaty…Upon arrival to Almaty we were met by her friends who provided her an apartment for free for unlimited term…My wife asked me to leave them alone as they were having private conversation with her friend… I went to the market nearby, bought food and groceries, placed them into the fridge and went to café along with her friend’s husband. We called another friend and spent time together at café. During the time we spent at café my wife had a private meeting with her friend..Then we returned back to apartment and I was getting ready to leave to Bishkek…While leaving I asked my wife to give me her Bishkek’s SIM card since she wouldn’t need it in Almaty whereas I could put it in use while in Bishkek…she replied that she just put it somewhere and could not find it… I asked her to find it anyway and I will collect it next time I am in Almaty…I went back to Bishkek to my father…
After arriving to Bishkek I first went home, I entered the house and there in the room where I used to see lists taped to the sideboard I found 2 handwritten posters :
“Am I a human being? Do I as a human being have the right to sin, make mistakes and behave inappropriately? I do have such right! Because by doing so I gain experience..but if I continue to do it I destroy myself….Who would help me? God? Or myself? …so, it is needed to pray for offender…since she suffered more, have mercy on me…..”
I rephrased it and for me it turned out like this:
I did something, so, what?
I had right to do it….
I kept doing it and gained experience…
I kept doing it and destroyed myself….
Who would help me?
Have mercy on me, I am a victim….
After I asked her – what this is all about? She replied that she wrote it for me and about me..
Absurd! I was visiting kids once in a week and this was hanged near her bed for weeks….It was some sort of self rehabilitation help and autogenic therapy.
If you would put any crime into this phrase you would easily see that this served as self excuse:
I killed people , so what?
I had right to do it…
I kept doing it and gained experience…
I kept doing it and destroyed my life…
Have mercy on me, I am a victim…
The second poster was :
“Let it go…I forgive all events and people, they do not have power over me anymore…” this one is taken from the book called “12 steps to fight dependency for drug addicted” which I saw once on bookshelf – but why she has followed this book?? When I asked her why you followed book for drug addicted? Her reply was – it is because of your drinking…But this does not make any sense! I used to drink socially once in a while but was never addicted to alcohol!
I remember 2 times I have seen a small plastic bag with whitish crystalloid type powder – first time on the fridge shelf – then I asked her – what’s this? – she grabbed it from my hands and replied – this is my medicine! The second time we were at her sister’s place and there in the kitchen her sister handed her a small plastic bag with whitish powder by saying – here we go, this is what you asked for…after which my wife started to thank her – oh, my sister! Thank you so much! I love you!... Then the other time she was getting ready to go for lessons and was feverishly searching for something everywhere in the house – and then she asked me – have you seen a little plastic bag with some staff anywhere? I asked – what was in there? – Oh, well…nothing she replied –and then grabbed her mobile phone and called her sister – Oh dear! I lost it! Could you please help me to procure it again?...The other time I remember she walked out the yard on the street with her mobile phone and was calling someone and yelling – You owe me 2 grams! When I can collect it? – I went out and asked – why you are yelling on the street? what happened? Oh, nothing… she replied and then she said – I need to go to a friend nearby … I said, no problem, let’s take the kids and have a walk together…Oh, no, no, no…I need to go alone, please, I’ll be right back, just need to take something…please stay home with kids, I will come back shortly and then we will have walk together with kids, ok?....ok, I said and went back home…. The other time during the last pregnancy her sister was visiting us – and I heard as they were chatting – my wife said – Oh, it is so hard…could you please procure it for me….her sister replied – Are you stupid? Think about the child! – But this is so unbearable! Please, sister!....
I remember a long time ago, just after my first trip to Germany in 2000, we were sitting at the kitchen and she asked me – Have you ever tried drugs? -I replied, well I smoked marihuana when I was a student… But have ever tried heroin? she continued – I said- No, dear, never, but why? – Well, she said, I tried it once and it was so great! I never had such a great feeling! Do you wanna try it, darling? - I was confused.. I asked her angrily – where did you try it? Who gave you to try it? She replied, well it was before we met… I replied, don’t ever try it again! It will turn to be a nightmare for you and you won’t be able to overcome it….
I was always keeping home accounting from the moment we got married and I remember once I was updating spreadsheet with latest expenses there was a discrepancy of 700 som (approx)….I asked her do you recon any other expenses we had? ….she replied that she went for a lunch at the restaurant…. I was offended – you had lunch without me, but why? Why you did not call me, I could have joined you and we could have lunch together…..she yelled at me – why your are checking it, can’t I just spend money the way I want? – I replied – there is no problem in spending money on your needs, but just let me know on what you are spending it, so that we can keep records and plan our family budget…if you need something, clothing, perfumery, etc, go ahead and spend it but let me know as I am trying to keep accounts and plan our finances…. The other time she came to me and asked – could you give me 1000 som? – I said, no problem, dear… but why? Don’t ask, just tell me would you give me money or not? I gave her money and refrained from further asking…. Then some of the jewelry that I presented to her disappeared, when I asked where is Valentine ring I bought you before? …she replied – ah, ..I gave it to my sister since it does not fit me well….
I believe that becoming addicted to drugs at that time she needed money everyday to buy hell dust and since I was keeping home accounting she needed to have another source of easy and fast money everyday….I remembered as once before my second trip to Germany, we were in the room with TV and I was watching something on the local channel and there was a running advertising stroke in the lower part of the screen “ highly paid job for beautiful ladies…” I remember as she grabbed her mobile phone and started to store the number... I told her – are you stupid? This is all about prostitution!...she replied – Oh, well…never mind..I just learning how to store numbers on mobile…
SHAVING HER BODY AND FREQUENT CHANGE OF HAIR STYLE
I remember as from some time during our marriage she suddenly started to shave her legs, vagina and pubic area….I asked her why are you doing this? I never asked you for that!...she replied that she likes it this way…..then she started to change her hair style very frequently.. one months she was blonde, then reddish, after that light brown, then dark brown, and so on…. Changing her hair style every month…She was always putting a heavy makeup while going to the city. Few times I told her that I really dislike this and that I am sorry but this makes her to look as a prostitute…she did not say a word in reply…I asked her why are you changing your hair style so frequently? I never asked you for that, you know my preferences, I like your natural hair color and dislike your makeup…. She was silent…
Once we were alone in the house, her mother took the kids to her sister’s place overnight and we stayed alone at home….suddenly she asked me to take photos of her naked….I was confused… I asked why would we need your erotic photos in our family’s photo archive? ….she replied – oh, take them just for fun, so that you can keep them on your computer at work and look at me….I replied – are you suggesting that I should put them as wallpaper and everyone in the office will gaze at your body?? – I don’t need to keep your erotic photos at all, whereas I can come home after job and enjoy you at night….she insisted to take photos for her, just for fun she said…. Later I learned that most of local bordellos have a sort of “catalog” of the girls, so that the “client” can select and pre-order a girl…this was the only need for her to have them as she was promoting herself at bordellos…
Many times I saw as she was getting dressed to go for “lessons” and was putting on her most erotic lingerie…. Few times I asked her – why you are putting them on? Aren’t they should be put aside for our special nights together? ….she replied – oh, well… I just like them so much this is why….
MY SISTER’S VISIT
In September, 2010, my twin sister Madina and younger brother Ibrahim came from Russia to visit me and my father. After about one week, arrived my aunt from Uzgen, who has not seen us for many years, coincidentally she is also named Roza just like the lady in her list that was taped on the sideboard before I moved my wife and kids to Almaty… at that time when I came to Almaty for a couple of days, I told my wife that I am busy in Bishkek with Madina since Roza arrived….When I mentioned – Roza arrived… she screamed with fear – Why Roza!?...I told her that she is my father’s sister from Uzgen…she said – ah, well..it’s ok then..
OLD CAMERA DISAPPEARS
In one of the days in September, I was in the house and was expecting Raihan to arrive from Almaty on weekend. I cleaned the house and prepared a meal for us. Along with me there was my nephew Artem, who was playing at the computer. There was and old camera Olympus350 on the desk near computer’s monitor. The camera contained photos of my wife’s lists with male names… I knew the time of her arrival from Almaty since she called me when she was crossing Kazakh border and I left the house to go the bus station nearby and asked Artem to wait for me and watch over the house…I met my wife at the bus station at a given time and was expecting that we would go home to spent some time together and have a meal. She refused to go home without any reason..I told her that she must be tired after 4 hours of ride in marshrutka from Almaty and that she can take shower and rest at home and that I have Artem waiting for me, so I would have to go home anyway… She reluctantly agreed but was insisting on taking a taxi.. I refused to take taxi since it was only 15 minutes walk and persuaded her to go by foot….While we were walking down Komunarova street near the house 48a there was a group of men…she mumbled something – Oh, they are here… and hid her face with her hair…When we came home I asked Artem to go to his grandfather who lived nearby, so that we can spent some time together. He cheerfully agreed and left the house… We were alone at the house. I was in the kitchen preparing food for us while she went to the room with computer…Shortly after she walked out of house with a small white hand towel in her left hand and went to the toilet in the yard….I was watching thru the kitchen window and was very surprised …why would she go to the old toilet in the yard while we have a comfortable bathroom with hot water and WC in the house where it is more convenient for women to sit and wash herself? Why would she need a towel in the yard toilet since there is no water in there?... And I was even more surprised to see her head thru the upper opening of the yard’s toilet – she was not sitting, she was standing in the toilet, just like a man! I walked out and asked her out loud – What are you doing there? – Oh, nothing… she said and walked out of the yard toilet… After spending some time together at the house we went out to the city, spent some time at café and then went to her sister’s apartment who was in Almaty and spent a night there….On the next day she left back to Almaty and I returned home… When I went to the room with computer I realized that the old camera Olympus 350 was missing…I asked Artem whether he took the camera or not? Artem replied that he did not… I called my wife and asked her where is the camera? She replied that she has no idea and started to blame Artem telling me that he has stolen the camera…
Later me and his older brother Oskar have several times asked Artem, we told him that we will not tell anyone if he had actually stolen the camera, we told him that the camera contained very important information and if he has taken it we will forgive him but we really need to know where is the camera….poor boy was crying and swearing that he did not touch it, that there is no way he would steal from me, there was really no reason for him to steal it since he had his own camera on his mobile phone and I promised to give it to them anyway upon departure to Almaty….Camera vanished….I strongly believe that she has taken it from the house, hid it under the hand towel, walked to the toilet in the yard and dropped it into the yard’s toilet septic tank thus getting rid of it as an evidence….
ALMATY- CHILDREN, RABBY, BISHKEK- ANDREI
In one of the days when I arrived in Almaty, I took the kids to the Central Park nearby and asked them whether they remember name Roza…They all answered – yes, daddy, we do…- but we won’t tell you anything because mommy will be really angry….Later I asked Daniel if he remembers anything that upset mother or she was crying about ….He remembered that once she came very upset and told grandma that some men took money from her and did not even thank her…
I remember as once when I was working at shoemaking workshop and walked out for a break and there was an older man standing nearby….I greeted him and we started to chat…he told me that he is waiting for one whore, who has good husband and kids and yet is “working” as a whore, he told that he is penalizing her for such behavior and getting payments from her…I laughed and went back to work….shortly after my wife came to me and told me she finished her lessons and came to me so that we would go home together…. She asked if I can break a 1000 som banknote into smaller banknotes… I gave her smaller banknotes and she went out …. I saw as she gave money to an older guy outside….she returned and I asked why she gave him money… oh, no, she said…here is the money…he just asked me to break it into smaller notes….
I remember as once we were walking home down our street and there near one kiosk was a man, while we were passing him, he told her – Oh, hi Olya! Let’s go and have some fun now….She continued to walk but I stopped – I looked at him angrily and said …Hey you!, You are messing something here man, she is not Olya, she is my wife Raihan!...she yelled at me – come on, Ravil, let’s go! …don’t listen to him!...the man looked at me and walked away ….I asked her- why he called her – Olya? She started to yell at me – Am I Olya? Oh my God! when we will sell your house and move out of here? I am so sick and tired!
While in Almaty I shared my memories and suspicions with Rebby and Asha (missionary workers from Almaty) , Raihan was always yelling at me, hysterically telling me that I am sick and delusional, they have talked to Raihan and asked her whether this all true….she shook her head without saying a word…then once we were on a weekend in Bishkek we visited Andrei and Sveta with whom I also shared my concerns, Andrei asked her whether this is true or not…. She shook her head again and hum without saying a word…
In one of the days in Almaty we were sitting at computer and were chatting with our friend Lynn from Australia via skype….Raihan complained to her that I have suspicions on her involvement into sexual slavery…. But I never mentioned to anyone a word “sexual slavery”, I had suspicions on her involvement into prostitution…She mentioned it herself, but why? Because for her my suspicions were associated with it…but why? Because she was indeed involved into it…It jumped out of her mind involuntary….
While we were in Almaty she was in every way possible avoiding to have sex with me…She could hold my hand and kiss me, but was avoiding closeness…It was obvious that sex was unbearable for her…This was very strange for me since we haven’t been together for nearly 5 months and yet she was not willing to sleep with me and this is for a woman of 37 years old being at the peak of female sexuality….It is well known that prostitutes don’t kiss their clients, they are trying to save this part of themselves so that to remain able to kiss a close person…
On the other day in Almaty, suddenly she tells me – darling, maybe you should make a circumcision, so that your penis will become bigger, it will pull out itself…I was really confused… Where could she see a big circumcised penis? Neither myself nor Daniel are not circumcised…
I was sincerely sharing my memories and suspicions with Rebby and was insisting on having a medical expertise on her anus as I was suspecting that due to the anal sex she had an anus prolapsed and had undergone a small surgery. There near her anus I noticed a hardly seen reddish permanent scar, when I asked her what is this?...she replied that she has chafed it with her panties… she was denying all my memories and suspicions, she was hysterically yelling at me and telling that I am sick and delusional… I was suffering and was ready for anything…I spoke with doctor Barton, who at first prescribed me with antidepressants, then after a month prescribed me with psychotropic medicine, but it was not helping me at all…
ALMATY-INTENTION TO MAKE DNA
By Christmas I sold properties in Bishkek, put money in the bank and arrived to Almaty… We had good family time with kids on Christmas… After Christmas I politely expressed my intention to make DNA test on kids…and just when I mentioned this she went SO furious , she rushed to call her friend and started to complain to her that I am crazy and intend to make DNA on the kids…the volume on phone was loud and I heard as her friend replied – so, what’s the problem? Let him do it!..I told her that I do not intent to offend her in any way and need to make it since this will help me to combat my suspicions….and if she has nothing to hide from me she should not be offended and since she thinks that I am delusional and sick then why she is refusing to help me to combat my delusions? …..She packed my things and kicked me out of the apartment though she was still telling me that I am sick (who would kick out a sick person out of home?) ….The kids were witnesses to all this and I decided to not to make a scandal… I pulled out my wallet and placed 1000$ under the strong magnet on the fridge for her to be spent on food, this money were enough for 2 months since we did not pay rent… I took my backpack and guitar and left to Bishkek…
Upon arrival to Bishkek I went to my nephew and asked him if I could stay with them for a week…they cheerfully accepted me….then on the other day doctor Barton called me (but how would he knew that I returned to Bishkek?) and I went to him for a visit … I spent nearly an hour with him retelling him all my memories and suspicions….Barton advised me to check with local psychiatrist and gave me a contact information – Lora Kaparovna….On the other day, my wife called me and said that she is coming to Bishkek and wants to talk with me… When she arrived , first thing she asked – where is the part of my money from property sale? I said that she should not be worried and the money are kept in the bank…then she started insisting on having a visit to psychiatrist…I replied that I don’t mind and that Barton gave me already a name and phone number of a doctor, she asked me to show it and I handed her a note with psychiatrist name and phone number…She dotted it into her mobile phone and said that she will arrange it….she went to stay with her cousin….On the next day we met in the city, she called her cousin and I heard as she was asking on the phone – how much? Eight hundred,..oh, well , ok…..and then she took me to psychiatrist, we went directly to Lora Kaparovna, who listened to me for 10 minutes and right away told me that I am delusional….She prescribed me with haloperidol – a strong psychotropic medicine……
After a week I returned to Almaty…. When I asked her - are there any money left from 1000$?... to my surprise she replied – no, we spent them all…I was confused….Anyway, I decided to stop expressing my memories and suspicions and was taking medicine every day…Every morning I would put pills into my palm and had a short prayer – …Lord, don’t let them to poison me…
In mid March we made decision to return to Bishkek since we were unable to arrange schooling for kids and her friends asked us to vacate the apartment…We arrived to Bishkek and stayed with her younger sister…. I was busy looking for an apartment to buy, we bought an apartment within a week and then I was looking for workers to make renovation… Renovation works took more than a month, and we moved into our new apartment in late April. Then during May I was busy looking for a job. All this time I was taking haloperidol and suffered severe side effects, I could not sleep during the night, had muscle stiffness and chest pain, heaviness in my head and depression. Then in late May I stopped taking medicine realizing that it does not help me at all and I still have my memories and suspicions…but I was keeping them within me without expressing it….I was telling her and the friends that I am Ok…I can handle it… I found a job in June and started to work for a local charity as Director… The charity had no projects and no funding, so I started to write a project on social adaptation for orphan graduates and made a website (www.janazyk.org) to raise awareness on the needs of orphan graduates in Kyrgyzstan.
I completed project by September and prepared step by step plan of action, I met with other charities and started to attract volunteers….
In late September I expressed my memories and suspicions again…She went furious and said that this is due to my stopping of taking the medicine… By this time, my friend Dima, with whom we had shoemaking business before arrived from Russia. He called me and asked if he could buy a shoemaking sewing machine from me, I agreed and invited him to our apartment. When he came we went to the kitchen and had tea… Raihan started to complain to him that I have suspicions and intend to make DNA on the kids….He listened to me carefully…I sincerely shared my memories and suspicions with him…He said that he has similar situation, that his parents in Russia do not accept his son, Sasha, who is 19 already and they think that he is not his biological father…He said that his wife and his son all agreed to save money and make DNA thus to prove it wrong to his parents. He said that this very important for his wife since she wants to prove her faithfulness to them. He said that since I am suffering with my suspicions for nearly a year we need to make DNA for the sake of the family… He started to persuade my wife to not oppose it but take it peacefully and make it for the sake of the family….while he was talking I saw as she was trying to smile thru tears…. Dima prayed for us and we all agreed to start saving money for DNA tests…..
On the next morning(Saturday) I made breakfast for girls (Daniel was still asleep) and was about to take then to a market nearby to buy them gifts… Older daughter was waiting for this all week as I promised her to take her on the market and buy her toys.. My wife was nervous….and then suddenly she started to yell on me – don’t touch my kids! I will not let you to take them!... then she yelled at the girls – Don’t go with him and don’t listen to him! – then she turned to me and hysterically yelled – They are my kids! They are not yours! – I was shocked… the girls were shocked and frightened too… I asked her – what’s wrong? … I asked her why she cried yesterday during a talk with Dima? – She replied – You would not understand it …go away…
I took my small backpack with notebook and left…
2nd PSYCHIATRIST
On the same day I went to a pastor of a local church which I was attending and gave him print out of my memories and suspicions. We had a long talk after which he agreed to step in into my situation and meet my wife…He met with her on the same day and I met him next morning….He told me that she is insisting that I am delusional and suggested to go together to the same psychiatrist again…I said that I don’t mind to be checked again and would be happy to get the council of physicians to inspect my case and we went together to the same lady Lora Kaparovna…. when she saw me again being accompanied by a pastor she immediately refused to receive us and sent me to the main building…I went to the main building where I registered for a visit, waited in the line and was received by another psychiatrist, this time it was a man named Alym…..he listened to me and said that I don’t need any treatment… then he started to put down my name and asked me if had any complains before… I said that in January Lora Kaparovna prescribed me with haloperidol and I was taking it for 5 months…..after I said “haloperidol for 5 months” …he went very angry at her and was shocked….He told me that this could have made severe damage on my brain, that it was a violation since prior to prescribing any medicine she was supposed to make tests on me and had a committee of doctors…to his surprise there were no records on my first visit neither any records on prescribing me with haloperidol….after this he sent me for 2 hours of testing with psychologist…. I passed all tests with good scores and he made statement that I am absolutely healthy and don’t have any problems…then he cheerfully told me that I should go ahead and make DNA on the kids, he gave me his mobile phone number in case if I would need his help, he shook my hand and then I left…. I informed pastor right away that I had passed all tests and a conclusion is made that I am absolutely healthy….He promised to talk to my wife again…On the next day (Friday) I met with pastor again and he started to tell me very strange things… he told me that besides the conclusion of the 2nd psychiatrist that I am absolutely healthy I am yet still delusional and sick and that the doctor will not tell me the truth because he is not a believer and just like in the case of a cancer patient the doctor will not tell me the truth….. I was confused… I laughed and told him – what is the reason then to go to a doctor knowing that he will not tell you the truth? And again this was his idea to check me second time and this completely has no logic at all because if we would follow this logic then the first psychiatrist (Lora Kaparovna) lied to me then since she is not a believer ..…after this conversation it became obvious to me that the pastor is supporting my wife’s attempts to hide truth from me and trying to persuade me that I am still delusional and that my intention to have DNA caused by my sickness….
On the next day (Saturday) I received a call from unknown number….I picked up and asked –who is this? The man replied that this is a doctor that I visited lately….he cheered me up and asked to stop by at his office on Monday….I agreed and hanged up…. After his call I was puzzled, why he was calling from a different number and who gave him my phone number? I called pastor and asked if he has given my number to him…pastor replied that he did not, but my wife asked him to which psychiatrist I went…. Then I called my wife and asked her – Why did you go to my psychiatrist?? …after a pause she replied – Because he called me to come….I replied – No, dear, this a LIE, since he had no contact information on our family, I did not give him neither mine nor yours phone numbers….she stopped short and said..Oh, well..I went myself…I kept asking – For what reason you went to him? …she yelled at me – because it was needed! and hanged up… On the next day (Sunday), she called me and in a gentle voice asked me – oh, darling maybe you should go to another one, I don’t like your psychiatrist and I don’t know why he is changing his opinion on you…..I said – wait,..he did not tell neither to me not to the pastor that he is changing his opinion on me…it is you now telling me that he has changed his opinion, so that means that you have arranged with him just like with the first psychiatrist in January and since I now know that you went to him to make arrangements, you are now arranging another one to have suitable for you opinion on me …..she replied – but I don’t have any money to arrange with those men…. I replied – but since this time they are men, you have your body to please them, don’t you, darling? I told her that I am going to Almaty to have an independent doctor to check me and obtain a statement on my health, there is no way for her and her relatives to make arrangements with doctors in Almaty … she hanged up…. It was so obvious to me that she and her relatives are still trying to make arrangements with doctors and persuade me that I am delusional….
On the next morning I called pastor (he is also a founder of the charity that I worked for) and asked him to pay me my salary which the charity owed to me for August and September since it was already October…I told him that I could not wait any longer and they were overdue for more than a month, I told him that I need money to go to Almaty and to arrange with a local lawyer to follow up my case…He reluctantly agreed and within couple of days he paid me 50% of what they owed to me promising to pay me the other half upon my return from Almaty…After paying to me the part of my salary he asked me to resign as Director for temporary….I was confused… well, I said, whatever you like… and I took a piece of paper and wrote resignation letter and signed it…..I was really surprised….. I thought that I honestly and sincerely worked for his charity, made them a really good project and website and found source for potential funding , just recently we had Board meeting with their partner from Germany and they all were excited about the project and step by step plan of action, they all prayed for its success and my perseverance and persistence, but now he was asking me to resign…..it must have been somehow connected to my family situation… but again knowing that I am going thru the most traumatic situation in my life why would he cut me from the only source of income – my job, which I really liked and enjoyed? ….there is only one answer – he was supporting my wife and they were trying to prevent me from going to Almaty, arranging a lawyer and eventually have DNA test on the kids….They decided to leave me without job….without money to proceed any further…..
On the next day I arrived to Almaty and went to Republican Psychiatric Center….I registered for a visit and met with a head of department…. She listened to me and arranged for 2 hours of testing with psychologist first… I passed all tests again with good results and they scheduled a committee of doctors on the next day…. On the next day I had committee on my case with 3 professors and one high level specialist… the committee took nearly an hour after which they gave me a conclusion on 2 pages stating that I am absolutely healthy and don’t need any treatment…. I returned back to Bishkek and informed pastor that I have a strong statement on my health from independent source- Psychiatric Center of Kazahstan and do intend to use it in the court against first psychiatrist for unlawful misdiagnosing and poisoning me with haloperidol for 5 months…. Since then they all stopped to call me delusional…they do not call me anymore, nobody, neither the pastor, nor church leaders, nor herself… why the stopped communicating with me? ….because they have nothing to say anymore ….their lies are exhausted….their idea to make me “delusional” or “schizophrenic” won’t work anymore….she and her police related relatives are afraid now that if I will proceed with a claim against 1st psychiatrist who misdiagnosed me and put me on strong medicine, Lora Kaparovna will crack down during investigation and reveal that she and her cousin arranged it with her for 800$ in January… then her cousin will lose her high rank in police and will be fired ending up with no job and ruined reputation at the old age….
BISHKEK –WITNESSES –THAI MASSAGE
Just after I left the house in September, I decided to start my own investigation…. I connected with local criminal authorities thru my relatives and old friends and found those who are controlling bordellos in the area where we lived…. I told them that I have nothing against them and have a very personal issue and all and only what I need is to confirm her involvement so that then I can proceed with divorce….One of them came to me the other day and asked me to show her photos… I powered up my notebook and opened her photos…it was not only one photo that I showed him, I opened a dozen of her photos including her erotic ones which she asked me to make few years ago... He recognized her RIGHT AWAY!... he confirmed to me that she was indeed involved into prostitution and is known under few nicknames – Oksana, Olya and Katya, ….she was constantly changing her nicknames and hair styles so that clients would not remember her ….My hands started to shake…He poured me vodka into the glass… I drunk it … and after he promised to support me in my case.. I printed photos for him and then within two weeks he came again and told me that he has now 3 witnesses who have recognized her and are prepared to support me in the court….He told me that first she was seen at “work” long time ago at the elite bordello in the downtown called “Thai massage saloon” where she was priced at 1500 som per intercourse or 800 som per erotic massage with masturbation….she “worked” only during the day time…He told me that all elite bordellos are controlled by high rank corrupted police officers….So this revealed to me that her cousin who is a high rank police officer must be somehow involved into it as well, I guess that her cousin employed her there and was supporting it while having her share in her dirty earnings…. I believe that her cousin gave her to try hell dust since police officers have easy access to heroin and mostly all heroin market is controlled by high rank officials…I believe that both her cousin and her mother were supporting her and kept her addicted as they all were having a share in her “wages”. Her mother always stayed with us during our 12 years of marriage and was doing cooking and looking after the kids whereas my wife would go for “lessons”. I never bothered myself to check her schedule and her student’s names or contacts, I trusted her and strongly believed that she is giving lessons during the day…Now I know what was the topic on those “lessons”…All of her relatives are divorced and lonely women… for them it is “normal” to have affairs on the side, and one of them has two daughters, her older daughter Nellya worked as prostitute (and most likely still is) in Arab Emirates and the other went to Moscow (to do the same?)….she is so proud of her daughter in Arab Emirates – “ she is providing us” she said once… another suspicion crossed my mind when I thought about her older daughter – she went to Arab Emirates just shortly after when we got married…. But who employed her there? Their police relative? Or must likely she also escaped from her slavery administered by their police relative? Again, providing that all elite prostitution is controlled by corrupted police officers, I believe that Nellya first worked in Bishkek and then was promoted to go to UAE or escaped, then if their police relative was involved they needed to find a local replacement for her and targeted at my wife? I went to Europe at that time and they used that occasion and my absence…First, they put her on hell dust and made heroin addicted and then fully controlled….Could be true….
When I came home last time to collect my winter clothing and documents, the first thing she asked me was – how we are going to split the property? – I said, wait… in case of divorce we will split it 50/50 by the law.. but first I will make DNA on the kids…..No, no, she said…. First you will divorce me and then maybe I will let you to make DNA…. I replied that I will not do it by force now…. I spoke with the lawyer and he advised me to first initiate a claim on my fatherhood under which she will be forced to have DNA, and her refusal will serve as confirmation on my suspicions and I will find the money for DNA and if after it my suspicions will be confirmed she will have to reimburse all my expenses and lawyer costs…..She paused and then replied – don’t bother… THEY ARE NOT YOUR KIDS…. I asked her – from whom the children are born then? – do you at least remember their names? If they would have been your lovers you would at least remember their names…. But you don’t even remember them…..Then she yelled at me – the father is not the one who gave birth, but the one who would take care and parent!… I took my staff and left ….Later, on the next morning I called her and told to her - the father is the one who gave birth and parented, the one who only parented is a mentor, but not the father… what if I will now have 3 girlfriends and after a while will bring you 3 babies and will tell you – the mother is not the one who gave birth but the one who would take care and parent, would you be their mother then? Show me an example of the father who did not give birth but parented …you will find only exceptions if any…. She yelled at me again and hanged up….
After a week my new friend came again and told me that they have located a local drug dealer who lived nearby our house and he also recognized her on the photo but was afraid to tell him anything more… after a hard talk with him he disclosed that she was one of his clients and was frequently buying heroin from him (you owe me 2 grams, when I can collect it!) and that last year in May he was badly beaten by three man from police who frightened him and told him not to reveal anything to me or otherwise they will make his life miserable….It is now being checked and confirmed that the robbery of my workshop was prearranged by corrupted police men engaging local drug addicts and was made for only one purpose to prevent me from knowing shocking truth before she escapes to Almaty, because men in our area started to recognize her and had intention to inform me by coming to my workshop as one of them did before the revolution…then she arranged something with her police related cousin, and after she rushed to escape to Almaty giving me a reason that she got a 1000$ job and needs to start it asap…( later in September 2010, when I came to Almaty, I checked with her and her friend how much she made during the first months… I was confused, she made only 30,000 tenge which is roughly 200$, so she lied to me again….and this money is considered nothing for Almaty) and during that time another policemen tried to arrange the return of my staff to me, so that everything will look like if I was accidentally robbed and then they were expecting that I would report it and they will return my staff to me after she escapes to Almaty….but their plan failed … I did not report anything….so the robbery remains to be their crime against me as well as poisoning me with psychotropic drugs for 5 months…
When I told them about my suspicions being confirmed and gave them a print out where I indicated that I will start investigation and report on her involvement into prostitution, and I also mentioned that by Prosecutor’s request the mobile phone operators will provide all data on their phone calls and sms, which is stored in database of mobile providers for 3 years by law….. after this her cousin immediately got rid of her SIM card, replacing in with a new one….but why?..very easy to guess – she is involved and most likely organized it all as her “small business”.. I studied the local Criminal Code and to my surprise found out there is no penalty provided for prostitution!?? And this is in semi-islamic country? In Russia, for example, a monetary penalty and public reprimand is applied …. This is only confirmed to me that the local legislation is suited for high rank officials and police allowing them to make money out of it…. Sad but true…
During a year I was sharing my memories and suspicions with her and close people, with all my heart hoping for and expecting her repentance. When I left home in September I had the same hope and still am hoping that she would come to me and tell me all the truth herself…. This will at least help me to remain her friend and sincerely support her in the future…
You all may wonder and ask why I am making it public….. I have few reasons….
1. I will stop and destroy her 12 years lies and deceit and in case if she was forced to have this “job” under the fear of losing me as a husband and father to kids, so now whoever is behind all this will have no choice to force her again since I know now everything…..
2. There must be a logical reason on their refusal for more than a year to have DNA test of my fatherhood on the kids….For me they ALL don’t look like me and ALL look different among themselves…The first child was not planned since I was in Europe and had plans to relocate to Europe and was always taking precautions and using condoms..the second child also was not planned since in 2004 I still had plans to move abroad and was always using condoms…. When she told me about second pregnancy she was trying to persuade me to make abortion at that time which I totally refused since I do not support abortion and consider it as a crime and killing…. The third child was not planned as well since at that time I decided that having two kids is enough for me and having a third one will be difficult because I did not have enough income to provide, again I was very cautious and always used condoms…. When she informed me in 2006 of being pregnant again, I was really confused….How come, darling? I was 100% sure that I always had safe sex with her…. Well, she replied…are you suspecting me on having affair on the side? Oh, well, no darling, but this is so unexpected and strange for me….. well, she said,…let’s make abortion then…..Oh, no, I said.. we should not make abortion and commit killing…..SO, the other reason is to find support in helping me to have DNA on the kids…You may ask, what if it will turn out that they are yours? – I will be really happy then, since I will know that at least she did not cheat me on the kids and with all means I will provide best care and support for them….but divorce is yet unavoidable, sorry….
3. I don’t have anyone around me to support and protect me in my case….I am looking for a new job now and a place where I can stay for temporary… I know for sure that she and her relatives are trying in any way possible to avoid investigation and DNA and also are trying to avoid property sale and splitting the assets, so for them the only way to stop me is to disable me mentally (which they already tried but failed) or physically ( assassinate?) so that I won’t be able to proceed any further. Providing that they have high rank police officer relative involved who has dangerous contacts this treat becomes imminent in a such unstable and deeply corrupted country as Kyrgyzstan, so the reason for me to make it public is to raise awareness so that as many friends and acquaintances will be aware of my situation thus this will form public opinion and in some way will serve as protection for me…..
So, if any one of you, readers, would be moved to step in and have impartial judgment and willingness to help, please drop me a line at ravil.abdullin@gmail.com
Thank you for reading,
Ravil Abdullin
Bishkek
Kyrgyzstan
